the one thing that i really want to tell you right now-

and so in the past week I received what was probably the happiest news I've gotten in the past 1.5 years. (and yeah it also dawned upon me that it has been 1.5 years since I truly felt happy?)

but what repeatedly came to my mind was that I really wanted to share this piece of news with you. I really wanted to tell you how much this piece of news meant to me and how happy I was. and how much I felt you helped me in this whole endeavour.

but I no longer have the chance to. 原来无法(与你)分享喜悦也会是件不快乐的事。

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no matter whether you will ever come across this but:
thank you. thanks for walking through two years of my life with me, thanks for always being so encouraging and supportive in the past whenever I mentioned this dream of mine. thanks for your positive influence and always pushing me to study harder because without your 鞭策 back then I probably wouldn't have had this chance today. 对不起, 谢谢。