beautiful praises-

there's truly nothing more beautiful than little children spontaneously praising the Lord.

sis sent me a video of my nephew singing 这一生最美的祝福 with some really cute facial expressions. recently this song somehow never fails to make me tear up; it still does, but with this video on top of any other emotions I have, it's a heart full of thanks for this amazing boy who has a heart for God at such tender age.

argh-

it couldn't get any more superficial that this. why can't it have even a slightest bit more of effort and meaning? I really want to know / am concerned but this, it's just useless.

back to reality-

On the bus trip back from Lapland right now. Few days away from reality to marvel at the work of God's hands at the Levi fell, Skibotn etc.
如果你如同本子一样和我一起看见、经历这一切, 那该有多好...

The past one week has been fun and fulfilling, and to some extent a bit useful in reducing the occurrences of my brain wedgies. Still find it challenging to get to sleep every night though, haven't had a good dream-less sleep in quite long and I'm getting pretty exhausted. Doesn't help that I have an exam literally right after I reach home in Hervanta. 4 hours of rest and off I go for exam.

Read this thought-provoking article on the bus a short while ago;
They are truly blessed to have each other to 共渡此生.
[Read: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2564088/Together-end-Husband-holds-hands-beloved-wife-60-years-died-hours-apart.html]


on another note:
I truly thank God for the presence of the few of you in my life. You know who you are, I am truly grateful <3

这个世界, 我们一起逛-

许多的人事物虽已不再,
念的还是那曾经拥有的缘分。
别人眼里普通,破烂的一个记事本,
却是收藏这些对我来说非常重要的点点滴滴的宝。

回首时微笑也好,
掉泪也好,
这个本子将陪着我走遍天涯海角。
今天到北级圈去也不例外;
背包里带着本子,
把本子当成你的缩影,
一起去看这个世界。


... 你现在还好吗?

eurgh-

omg stupid song stop ringing in my head...

那些年-

used to be a song I really liked a lot.
but now when my roommate plays it everyday,
and I find myself having this fear of the song,
and actively trying to escape from listening to it.
be it walking away from it,
or just blasting something else louder.

maybe I'm just afraid of 触景伤情,
but maybe I'm really just running away/escaping.

a little message each day-

a little message I receive each day
as I set aside a short period of time for God and myself;
a little message that tells of His love and faithfulness;
have faith and get better, I tell myself,
even though these are things I still struggle with;
but day by day I will reflect, learn and grow,
and hopefully I will walk through this someday.

a testimony by Darren Lim and Evelyn Tan that a friend shared on facebook, and it really spoke to me tonight. sit through all 25 minutes of it if you can and hopefully it speaks to you too.

time count-

four months on... I still miss you.

short film-

 

a very well made short film by Wacoal (yes, the undergarment brand).
her unconditional love for the child was really touching even though the child isn't hers (spoiler alert).
爱孩子的女人真的最美丽。
(alright, I'm equally touched/impressed by guys who love kids too)

 

like I was recently reminded of when I posted my photos with little Leo taken when I attended church here in Tampere, children are indeed gifts from the Lord;
儿女是耶和华所赐的产业，所怀的胎是他所给的赏赐。(诗127:3)

seeing the love my Greek church friend and his wife had for their own and others' children was a very encouraging and heartwarming sight, something less seen in people of the younger generation, like them and ourselves nowadays.

 

we really have much to learn.

food for thought-

God's messages come in so many different ways everyday... I am thankful for these people in my life who have been used to send these messages to me, directly or indirectly.

Heard this while listening to a song my sister linked me, which was good food for thought for myself. maybe being alone in the apartment these few days isn't that bad after all, at least it gives me the chance to 静思-

每当环境的冲击像海啸一样临到的时候,
你要将眼目单单注视你的神,
因为这正是神新的工作季节的开始。
你要等候， 因为神会将得胜的意念放在你的心中；
你要展翅， 因为神会把机会摆在你的面前；
唯有祂， 能够带领你飞越风暴，重新翱翔。

lunchtime thoughts-

solitude is pretty much double-edged.
it gives you the much needed me-time for thoughts, reflections and recovery from the ever-exhausting social interactions;
but it also highlights the emptiness in yourself...

I'm still far from being able to live independently.

无怨无悔有几人-

如果一切靠缘份　何必痴心爱着一个人
最怕藕断丝连难舍难分　多少黎明又黄昏
就算是不再流伤心泪　还有魂萦梦牵的深夜
那些欲走还留一往情深　都已无从悔恨

早知道爱会这样伤人　情会如此难枕　当初何必太认真
早明白梦里不能长久　相思不如回头　如今何必怨离分
除非是当作游戏一场　红尘任他淒凉　谁能断了这情份
除非把真心放在一旁　今生随缘聚散　无怨无悔有几人

---

老歌
往往把心声描述得最贴切...

truth-

saw this random note of reminder/advice today, pondered about it and realised how true it was, hah.

"when you ask for advice, ask from those who had achieved mastery themselves.
Ask advice on relationships only from friends who have deeply fulfilling relationships. Ask money advice only from those who are wealthy themselves. Ask advice on kids from your parents only if you are happy with the way you've been raised."

managing my own thoughts-

为什么我就是放不下...
just typing random stuff to talk to myself
心里这个莫名的空虚要如何填满?
to cope with the emptiness within...
I really want to talk to/chat with you to keep myself going but I don't think that's going to be possible. how else do I 走下去/push myself on... help.

thank you-

Received a postcard from a friend and a parcel by my parents yesterday. On a day/week that I really struggled with in terms of keeping my emotions and mood in check. Psychological support just at the time I probably needed them most. whose timing can be more perfect than Yours?

 

Postcard from a friend posted on the 6th of January but came arrived at the same time as my parents' parcel.

"You've got mail!"

 

Parcel from my parents... look further.

CNY goodies to ward off the CNY blues-

 

肉干!

 

 

 

... and more CNY goodies!

 

Went to Tokmanni after my oral examination to buy a container so I can slice my 肉干 into small pieces :)

a walk of faith with Him each night-

I was brought to a Youtube video for the soundtrack of a Hwach college song called "Never Forget" (<3), from where I noticed the original songwriter and his blog/site, his songs, as well as the little faith nuggets he shares from time to time, which sparked many thoughts within me.

 

"神所要的祭就是忧伤的；神啊，忧伤痛悔的心，你必不轻看。"
(诗 51:17)

Indeed, a broken and contrite heart, Lord, you do not despise. The past one month (especially the past two nights) has been hard for me still, even though I keep telling myself to make the best of the rare chance to be here in Finland for exchange. What I often overlook, however, is God's grace and mercy in my life thus far - family members who stand by me, church co-workers who share advice & experiences with me and even cry with me, best friends who are perpetually there for me at any time of the day.

As much as I can share my (limited) experiences and God's words with his little lambs at sunday school, I often forget/do not apply those lessons to my own life. even at the core level - the lesson of faith - is something that I am particularly weak in.

Perhaps it is because my life has really been pretty smooth sailing the past 23 years - anything I set my heart on, I try to work for it and I achieve it. Thus when I encounter a setback as large as I did my faith simply wavered and I allowed myself to succumb to my feelings of grief and disappointment and loss the past 3 months. During this period of time God used the people around me to constantly remind me of His words and lessons He wants me to learn but my stubbornness made me turn a deaf ear to it.

Even though I'm still oscillating between ups and downs, and on occasion am still going through extreme lows on some days (coupled with a certain degree of homesickness), I'm thankful nonetheless that on nights like these I get led back to timely reminders of His love and grace for me.

P.S. (you're 8 years my hwach senior and we don't know each other but) thanks Galvin Sng for your posts and sharing of God's word. (http://www.galvs.net/2013/03/faith-nugget-69/)


be patient ben-

while having a period of personal worship and quiet time late at night (since I can't find any English nor Chinese services here)...

"我的恩典够你用的，因为我的能力是在人的软弱上显得完全。"
(歌后12:9)

如果，如果 -

如果大海能够唤回曾经的爱
就让我用一生等待
如果深情往事你已不再留恋
就让它随风飘远

如果大海能够带走我的哀愁
就像带走每条河流
所有受过的伤 所有流过的泪
我的爱 请全部带走

 

 

歌词 - 无言中表达情感，无形中找到共鸣 的唯一方式...

ice cream-

eating ice cream downstairs in -15°C weather after dinner in sleeping pants and slippers. next time without the down jacket.

ice cream does work as comfort food to cheer oneself up.

 



tired-

i'm still struggling to keep up with everyday. it's getting pretty tiring.

and this is actually the 100th post since I moved over to this blog. so many things have happened since I moved my blog over here, so many memories. I miss them all...