of closed doors and reality-

secured early from camp today so i went back to school to collect the school graduating certificate in the evening. it came in a very nice brown folder with the words on the cover embossed in gold.

on the way home i read through everything with mixed feelings. reading the testimonial made me appreciate again (since i've already read the testimonial before.) how nice miss bobillier is, making a playful kid like me sound like some conscientious student. obviously i didn't deserve that.

opened the letter box to find NTU's letter-

"We regret to inform you that due to keen competition your appeal (for change of programme to Aerospace Engineering) has not been successful... The place in the Mechanical Engineering programme has been reserved for you for academic year 2011/12."

receiving such notifications are, of course, disappointing. but who else can i blame but myself for not having performed better? whatever happened during a'levels period cannot, and will not be an excuse for such mediocre results. but what's over is over, i will stop lamenting and start thinking about and planning for the future.

when everything you planned doesn't work out at all, could it be Him telling you where he actually wants you to go? perhaps submission is just something my rebellious nature needs to learn-

the random life of an nsf-

HELLO WORLD-

YESSS i am back to update this very very dead blog after being coerced on my cbox and msn to update this dead blog (hehe just joking). ohkayy after some thinking i thought i ought to update it too since this is probably the only place i can post updates about myself to keep in contact with people i have less contact with now =/

p.s. look adel and yantian i have updated my blog (fine i will update it frequently since i'm free)

i have nothing of importance to update today but since yantian thinks i should update about anything at all, here it is-

firstly, 幸福遇见!

林依晨's debut album is out for preorder! its going to be released on 10 July 2009! i've pre-ordered my copy online woohoo it's gonna be shipped to singapore as soon as its released.
MY PREORDER COPY IS SIGNED =D
p.s. 林依晨's my psp wallpaper as well :) and yes i have her 甜蜜花园 MV on my psp too :D

secondly,
i wanted to upload my POP photos from ages ago but i realised i really cannot find where i put them =/ so sorry people you can only see photos of the bald PTE Chan when i find the photos hehe.
oh yes, to people who don't know, i've since been dyed blue after POP (i.e. i've been posted to the navy) and my unit now is Tuas Defence Squadron / Sea Surveillance. (if it isn't obvious enough, i'm based in Tuas Naval Base now)
oh yes, i'm a stay-out personnel :)

thirdly,
i've continued my driving lessons after stopping for close to 2 months (thanks to being in Changi Naval Base for like 6 days a week and booking out only for a day during the initial phase).
thank goodness my driving hasn't really rusted, i still feel quite comfortable at the wheel =) oh hahaa there was this short girl who had the slot before my driving lesson and she's quite odd because her seat is way further back than i would usually sit (albeit her legs being obviously shorter than mine) and i had to adjust like everything (seats, mirrors) when i got on, i couldn't see a single thing with her mirror positions hahaa.
taxi drivers and traffic light cameras are the hate. taxi drivers just refuse to give way so you have to force your way into the yellow box to make them stop. traffic light cameras are the ultimate since i always seem to get on the end of perfect amber-light-timings so i always have the fear of getting snapped.

enough of my random rubbish talk, i'll update again soon =)

off to be bald-

decided to drop one last post before i go off to be bald and be detached from my computer for 2 weeks-

reporting at 2pm later, not really sure what will happen and what life is like in there. quite worried, no matter how relaxed i look. now i can't wait for chinese new year to come, at least there'll be a long weekend for a breather hahaa.

i bought my liverpool cap =) it's damn nice i swear hahaa. anyway people, uhh take care hahaa i'll see you all in 2 weeks' time!

goodbye world-

thanksgiving 2008-

as 2008 came to an end i reflected upon the past year and had quite a few thoughts. this thanksgiving post is 2 days late, but better late than never-

as i thought about the year that passed, i thank God for the following-
1) the chance to take part in a'divisions even though i'm seriously not good enough. this chance really meant the world to me.
2) giving me really great tutors at school who never gave up on me, no matter how bad my grades were, giving me consultations tirelessly in the stretch leading up to a'levels.
3) the best classmates and bowling teammates i can ever have. we had fun, we worked hard, they form the 2 years of my memory of life at hwachong which i will never forget.

there are many many more in between that i can't really express well in words, but the final few things i thank God for are one of the most important-
4) for the chance to have lived with, and taken care of, my grandma in her final few months with us - the chance to cook for her, the chance to watch tv with her, etc. - thank you Lord for leaving me with no regrets.
5) this is a little unique, but after grandma left us, i found that she still kept the momento i bought for her from Penang eight years ago (well that dates back to year 2000, when i was ten). the thought that my grandma treasured the things her grandchildren gave her so much that even eight years later it was still in very good condition really warms my heart. thank you Lord for this consolation following the departure of grandma.

to lose a loved one is never easy, especially when you're stuck right in the middle of two weeks of examinations that would change your life. but thinking of it i still thank God for having relieved grandma's pain, as well as for putting me through the test for me to grow.

as i face the year ahead, hopefully i will be able to be steadfast as i go through national service and whatever comes my way in the coming year-

senior promenade 2008-

prom was friday at ritz-carlton. food wasn't exactly the best, programme i don't know because i wasn't paying attention, but the camwhoring and the time spent with friends made it all worthwhile-

surprises of the day-
1) xinhui spiked his hair.
2) xinhui doesn't wear green specs anymore.
3) jinhuey wore a rather pretty dress (no jinhuey you're really not fat please hahaa)
4) jinhuey did not trip and fall while wearing high heels.
5) SOMEONE actually gave mishh a bouquet of flowers hahahaa

surprises aside, i must really admit some people seriously look way prettier/better at prom, seriously-

post prom-
after much camwhoring after prom event ended, the group of us went to Harry's @ The Esplanade for a drink before going to peckk's house for stayover. the drinks were not bad and their names were explicitly funny.
at peckk's-
played silent heart attack which i was totally hopeless at and so i drank about a bottle of beer which somehow had no effect on me even though i have low alcohol tolerance (small one lahh) in total as forfeit.
played truth or dare which got really amusing/funny/interesting with all the stupid questions and dares we came out with.
played & talked until around 7 plus cos yuanxin just couldn't stop laughing hahaa. everyone went home after eating at subway, but honestly the stayover was seriously fun =) i'm looking forward to class chalet hahaa we shall have more rubbishy sessions like these late into the night =D

senior promenade photos here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=188471&id=541450226&ref=mf
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=188475&id=541450226&ref=mf

i haven't forgotten this blog-

i'm back i'm back!

i haven't forgotten this blog, i swear. just that so many things have been happening recently i haven't really got time to update. but here i am, back to update this dear blog of mine :)

a'levels-
and so a'levels were finally over on 18 November 2008. rest and play for us, finally. a'levels were generally fine except i felt that i didn't do particularly well for physics and economics.
grandma left us on the morning of 5 November 2008, 5.32am. the day before chemistry paper 3. wasn't an easy period of time for me, especially with grandma's death happening during a'levels period. spent much of my first week at the funeral then, not much studying done :(

after a'levels-
with examinations out of the way peckhwang, ivan and myself went to enroll ourselves for driving lessons, and three of us took the theory lessons + practice sessions + evaluation + going to take the test together. classmates for the win =) although we do have to constantly remind peckhwang there's lesson the next day lest she oversleeps and misses the session again (like on the first session of Basic Theory 1.01)

peckhwang, ivan, zhikai, yongqiang, zhihong and myself went to Jurong East Swimming Complex for class (group) outing too! was really really fun, much quality time spent =) although i did experience a phase of skin shedding after that due to sunburns hahaa. oh yeahh, sakae buffet was good too =D

Senior Promenade 2008 updates in the next post, keep a lookout-

vexed-

like what the hell is wrong with everyone-
can't everyone just stop being assholes and just go back like what it used to be like YEARS ago.

fine. that aside. i've been thinking alot recently, about tertiary education and the future and everything. well, after alot of thinking, i've come to realise the sad facts of life. as much as i really really really really really want to pursue a tertiary education in the states, the chances of myself actually going is quite small, since university education in the states cost (more than) a bomb. i'm not fussing over the costs and stuff, but look - what's the point of going if you're going to be a financial burden to your family here in singapore.

life's probably just like that. screw it all-

ramblings-

about 29 days since my last update, thought i shouldn't neglect my blog, so im back here updating, more consistently, hopefully-

went to watch the dark knight last friday, the joker's ability to strike fear in the audience's hearts is really impressive. i don't like the ending though, i've always preferred movies with nice endings.

there was this UK/US university application briefing yesterday, the lecture theatre was swamped with people. i don't know why but i really really wish to pursue my tertiary education overseas. its not about the prestige or something, i just feel the experience of being an undergraduate in another country is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. or rather, i was secretly hoping that i could just get to the US to pursue my studies. financial costs may be a factor i may have to think alot about though, i don't want to be a burden to my parents.

enough of this want-to-go-overseas-to-study ranting, i was just randomly browsing when i came across this quote. its not the first time i've seen it, but i really like it. perhaps an epitome of my thoughts-

For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards,
for there you have been and there you will long to return.

-Leonardo da Vinci

prelims and a-level's coming, work hard ben-

post blocks-

block tests are finally over-

went with the class to watch You Don't Mess with the Zohan after physics paper today. it was seriously hilarious. oh, and we all know why its NC-16 already after watching the show hahaa.

anyway i've got two pictures taken in the last week of holidays during the study programme. someone took off the "for SSP students only" sign from the sliding door separating the two sections in the reading room and put it on the hot water dispenser outside the toilet. so it looks something like this-





anyway i was watching this music video of one of 罗志祥's song entitled "好朋友", in which 林依晨 starred as the female character in the plot. the cast and the plot was really nice on top of the fact that the music was not bad.

but these lines at the last scene of the song caught my attention.
i thought it was rather meaningful-
你宁愿做她一辈子的好朋友
还是勇敢的做一次她的男朋友?

block tests-

more than 2 weeks since i updated-

to start off,
ADEL AND BEN LOVES GERMANY TO THE MAX =)
ohkayy fine i think she loves lahm more than anything but that's not the point.
WE STILL LOVE GERMANY =D

ohkayy anyway its been 16 days since my last update! been rather busy because of block tests which make me have sleepless nights. been at school all of the last week of holidays for the study programme thing to mug for block tests, and i was a little satisfied that i did not waste alot of time thanks to the study programme.

anyway what's done so far-

1. H1 General Papers 1 & 2
2. H2 Economics Paper
3. H2 Chemistry Paper 3
4. H2 Physics Paper 3
5. H2 Mathematics Paper

and what's left-

1. H2 Chemistry Papers 1 & 2
2. H2 Physics Papers 1 & 2

and that's it, end of pain but start of misery when i get back my results. i am totally unhappy with myself over mathematics. it's like i spent so much time on mathematics over every other subject with the hope of some small improvement but when it comes to block tests i couldn't even do the first question in the mathematics paper. am i dumb or what-

ohkayy that aside, i still maintain the view that 林依晨 is totally the cutest. hahaa i know YOU are laughing but it works the same way as you liking the not-very-tall-player-you-think-is-cute ohkayy lols.

ohkayy enough of updating, i shall be back after block tests end on tuesday-

friendly match-

bowling friendly match with SRJC bowling team today-

j2's swan song. our last one representing the school (and bowling team) in a competitive event. it meant so much to us. at least i hoped to round it all off with a decent performance to end my time at hcbowling on a high note.

and so we reached the alley before the friendly, with the idea that there would be practice throws before the friendly itself. but it turned out that we weren't going to have practice throws and there was a sudden frantic to open lanes to play 1 practice game before the friendly. i haven't bowled for more than 2 weeks - and it shows. my practice game i only closed one frame and scored some obscenely low score that's less than a hundred.

but anyway the friendly started and team 2 (yinghao, jansen, adriel and myself) really owned today. first two games we were practically beer-ing each other many many times (i.e. 3 people strikes and one person doesn't, if you don't understand) and the second game we had like team pinfall of 698, we were aiming for 700 but adriel missed his last spare hahaa.

but anyway all three games ended and we were quite happy with our performance, actually rather certain that our team would win. and so adriel got individual first, jansen individual third, yinghao individual eighth. top seven get to play masters so adriel and jansen played, adriel won first for masters, noreen won first for girls' masters.

and OHH. pictures-
click to enlarge-

above: Top Boys Team - HCI Team 2 Boys - Ying Hao, Benjamin Chan, Jansen Tan and Adriel Lam.


above: adriel receiving team and individual prize from joanna lam.


above: jansen receiving team prize from joanna lam. jansen looks elated-


above: myself receiving team prize from joanna lam.


above: prize for top boys' team.


above: champion teams. SRJC team 5 (girls) - consisting Catherin, Phoebe, Grace and Joanna Lam - and hwachong team 2 (boys) - consisting Adriel, Ying Hao, Jansen and myself.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST-

hwachong bowling batch 07/08 - thanks for making the past one and a half year the most wonderful time of my life. it's been a really great time and though it seems we've come to the end of the journey, we are still a team. for as long as we still remember each other as teammates - the journey never ends.

GWEN GOH, SHERMAINE, YANTIAN, YINGHAO, CHONGCHEN, DONALD, ADRIEL, JANSEN - I LOVE YOU GUYS.

bowling chalet-

ohkayy adel i'll update with a post now lest you say my blog is dusty hahaa-

and so i was at sentosa from monday to wednesday for bowling chalet. lots of fun, lots of quality time spent with the team, particularly the j2 team. i'm going to miss you guys alot alot after we stop training man. i mean seriously.

anyway, first day's highlights were generally our j2 dinner and the exco interview session. 煮炒 at koufu was nice seriously. at least it was quality j2 bonding time heh. oh anyway gwenma seriously looks like a ghost when she stands on top of the lamp on the beach. and at around midnight we conducted the exco interview on the small island off siloso beach, it was fun doing the interview in the dark, although the junior guys had a more awkward interview due to some special requests for them to take off their t-shirts hahaa. the interview lasted all the way till like 1am plus after which we went back to our room to play big2 till like 4am plus.

second morning we went to bury bottles which contained notes (and exco positions, if any) in the sand and made the juniors dig for them in the designated boundary. breakfast at delifrance was super expensive. houseball competition and pool session at SAFRA Mount Faber in the afternoon. i seriously can't bowl for nuts with houseball anymore hahaa. had pizza for dinner, all at the expense of the juniors. what's more - we were surprised with nice presents (mine hung on the tree on the island off siloso beach) and sweet notes and a big photo montage which looks like a bowling ball hitting pins when seen from far.

third day was plain normal, checkout and brunch at vivo but what's important is that seniors really really had a memorable chalet and were really touched by all the thought put into the notes and presents. thanks a billion, juniors. you guys have left us an everlasting fond memory of hcbowling. we love you guys.

anyway i went to school to study chem with yantian today. chemistry gets really dry when its read and attempting questions all day. after studying i suddenly had craving for douhua tangyuan and so i made yantian go eat too hahaa. pure satisfaction.

i can't seem to finish with revision, and i'm like quite scared of block test 2 now after my poor results from block test 1. i'm really really trying my best to dash all i can to revise as much as i can. but i'm really afraid.

wow this is my longest post ever-

milestone-

a thousand passengers carried since the inception of the counter-



not a very significant milestone, but its been a long recollection of my memories, particularly college memories.

no matter-

yantian sent me this song a few days ago. its supposed to be some TVB-exclusive song used in several TVB serials. and i really like the lyrics-

"No Matter" - by Angel
Doesn't matter whom you are with
Doesn't matter where you are going
Don't you know I'm still waiting here for you
And pray for you

In the sunny days, sun will light your day
In the windy days, wind will lead your way
I have to say you're my treasured moments
Never gonna walk away

In the rainy days, rains will share my tears
In the stormy days, storms will steal my pain
Just go your way and leave things all behind
Spread your wings and fly away

I'm pretending you're mine
And wishing you'll be fine
The moments we share never die
You make a difference to my life
And let me realise
The feeling I've got
Deep inside

maths study camp-

been out for the past two days and today to do tutoring at a maths study camp for amk secondary students-

initially signed up to do only e-math tutoring. but after the e-math quiz on the first day it seems my tutee totally didn't need e-math tutoring, she got like full marks for that quiz hahaa. so my tutoring became a-math tutoring instead.

due to the very easy e-math and a-math questions given to the tutees on the first day, we decided to give the more challenging "Just One Page" questions that we did in high school to the tutees yesterday. then today after marking my tutee's a-math full practice paper and comparing with the other tutors' papers, i realised i was super miserly with giving my tutee marks (sorry! hahaa). some small mistakes here and there but it was not bad =)

hahaa and my tutee wrote jokingly on the tutee reflection sheet that her tutor kept making her do logarithm questions. heh the extra logarithm questions were like quite fun please, i gave questions that involved alot of changing base and combining terms and the answers are always like simple terms such as '1', after cancelling out everything hahaa.

anyway i think the study camp was quite meaningful la. although i don't think i taught much to my tutee, but the experience was fun and enriching i guess. and my tutee and her gang kept laughing at me and yanming's conversation hahaa.

ohkayy we took two photos at the end of the study camp! or maybe more than two because my tutee said i was expressionless in the first one hahaa.


above: xinyi (my tutee) and i, before the prize presentation i think.


above: my tutee and her gang, two other tutors - the one in brown (first row) and the one in darker blue (second row) - and myself. i was like so busy laughing that i wasn't looking at the camera hahaa.

resolutions-

____ told me to write about the interestingly long conversation we had yesterday on msn hahaa so here i am writing it now. and and i used underscores to address because it looks cooler yahh-

so the conversation was about resolutions. particularly that kind of resolutions. and so i was insisting that such resolutions will never stick. like, you swear with all your heart that you're not going to be affected or involved in such issues, but like it or not you're still going to get affected. well at least my own resolutions never stick. hahaa. and one thing i mentioned last night kept running through my brain - some guys never know what they want. how true.

hahaa so the conversation was so random there so many other things but if i were to write them all i don't think i'll ever finish. but anyway i really think that twit adds a tinge of cuteness into language if used sparingly. yupps. sparingly is the word. i mean, when you look back and see the twit in your language last time, doesn't it make you feel more like a cute little kid hahaa.

ohkayy there's nothing much worth writing about already since i've stayed at home for the whole of monday and wednesday. totally boring. OHH but before i end this entry i just thought i'd want to disgust you again with some twit-

buaiz-

hahaa.

june holidays-

ohkay its been yet another seven days since my last post-

nothing much happened last week i guess. apart from a'division basketball boys and girls finals. the guys won like they were expected to. the girls won after a really really hard fight, having trailed for 3 quarters (trailing by 15 at the start of 4th quarter), then picked themselves up and took the trophy back from RJ, winning them by 3 points by the end of the 4th quarter. amazing comeback, i must say.

went for the PSC psychometric test held in school today. after like:

1. 36 multiple-choice logic questions
2. 33 multiple-choice math questions with sixteen options each
3. 40 language and inference questions (with like 15 short passages to read)
   AND
4. 175 personality and preference questions

i was like dead tired by the end of the whole test. what's scarier - the dunman high people seem to be able to finish the 175 questions in like - 20 minutes? even the athena fac comm girl sitting on my right finished SUPER fast hahaa. i was like one of the last few people who finished the test hahaa.

ohkayy that aside, i've been beta-testing Football Manager Live the past 2 days. its quite a neat game, i'm looking forward to its launch =)

and lasers and semiconductors are making much much more sense after mr low's 2.5 hours of physics last week, thanks alot alot hahaa-

dance nite 2008-

hello world-

haven't been blogging the past weekend so i'll just update now. dance nite was last friday and saturday anyway, and i went for the friday show. it was really quite good in my opinion, and we had fun playing spot-the-thick-ankle / spot-the-attention-seeking-red-shoes / spot-the-midget during dance nite itself. i must commend the bunch of us sitting all the way near the top of the centre block for having very good eyesight =)

zhikai, anni and i bought gay-coloured toy flowers for wilson and tackkian, not to mention a super big toy flower for caryn. nice idea huh =D

anyway here are the pictures taken after dance nite, enjoy.
click to enlarge-


above: group photo. gay coloured and giant toy flowers easily noticeable. what was ivan looking at-


above: us and wilson with his cock (ostrich) eye. perhaps the toy flower was too fragrant-


above: wilson smelling the flower again. tackkian and myself acting gay but we swear we're straigh hahaa-


above: mishh and wilson, with advertisements for peel fresh, pocari sweat, and uhh ben chan-


above: take 2. mishh, wilson and the gay-coloured flower say cheese-


above: uhh, shortest to tallest?

injury-

ohkayy i injured my ankle once again-

as usual, a result of high backswing full force hitting my ankle with a 13-pound bowling ball. this time it's a little worse than past few times, because it swelled like almost immediately. but its ohkay i still can walk currently. physical injuries are nothing.

oh and i made weimin treat me to me to long john silver's skin-on potato chips since he was like one hour late. made us wait at long john in yishun while he was still had corporation road (that's like near lakeside or yuanching road if you don't know where it is).

i haven't been flying on my flight simulator and controlling virtual air traffic control for some time now. don't have much time now since i need to focus on school work, but the next time i have some time, i'm going to do some flying.

I wish I could save these moments
And put 'em in a jar
I wish I could stop the world from turning
Keep things just the way they are
I wish I could shelter you from everything
Not pure and sweet and good
I know I can't
I know I can't
But I wish I could
- Chorus from Collin Raye's "I wish I could"

back to blog-

its been 19 days since i last blogged, its time i updated my blog-

a'divs are over, i screwed it up. but it all does not matter anymore. i'm going to just forget it and look ahead =) im learning to let go and look to the future, although over some issues i may not be able to do it but i'll really try.

school has been fine these 2 weeks i guess, apart from the weekly monday dosage of 4 hours of physics. the last week has been the most fun one this term i guess, with like michh, caryn, elise and yongqiang's birthdays all in one week. zhikai and i did have fun with wrapping caryn and elise's presents though, im sure they had fun unwrapping too =D

and i'm going to bring my scout reactive for bowling training tomorrow to put new finger inserts (and widen the thumb hole). i've neglected my scout for a long time and since a'divs are over i think i should use it again.

and i've resolved to really make an effort to blog regularly-


to ____: hahaa what you said this morning was quite random yeahh but i hope nothing bad's happened. its really not that easy but jiayou ohkays =)