unfazed-

I think it's a matter of principle.
I've gotten much better with handling myself in situations like these anyway.

side effects of OH-

even watching commonwealth RG is painful.

you win-

除了心寒, 只有失望。
只怪自己当初的倔强。

二十字述心声-

heard this phrase yesterday. twenty simple words, but a whole lot of 含意:
"遇一人白首,  择一城终老,  予一己真心,  盼一生偕老。"

such a simple, yet somewhat difficult, dream/ideal. think about it.

food for thought-

"Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay and who you refuse to let go."

again and again-

out driving alone late at night because you're feeling down and tired of wearing a mask.
 

每当你以为开心的时候-

it is at times like these that life gives you a kick in the teeth. thanks.

自欺欺人-

An excerpt from "5 Lies I Used to Believe About Being A Christian" (Speegle, T., n.d.):

"3. You Shouldn't Express Your Struggles or Doubts.

Sometimes the Christian life is hard. At times, there are no easy answers or explanations. Instead of suppressing our doubts and struggles, we should admit them to God and ask others to help us walk through them.

David was a man after God’s own heart, and he often openly expressed his doubts and struggles during times of hardship. Being honest and open about your struggles doesn’t make you less spiritual, it actually draws you closer to God because it forces you to get rid of your pride and self-sufficiency.

You don’t overcome the difficulties of life by ignoring the struggle; you overcome them by inviting God to work in those areas (Psalm 43:5)! What good is it if you have everyone fooled except for God?"

mind-

please stop wrestling with me, I'm very tired already, can't suppress you much longer.

怎么办-

是时候回家了
终于快回家了
但... 突然又有好怕回家的念头 :/

error recovery-

但是我只想和唯一的人
不管排多少次队
不管看到的是白天、黄昏
甚至是无灯的夜晚...
我都只想和她在一起。

... some lines from Sam that I empathise greatly with. if you knew the context/origin of these lines you would know the last line too. human factors in aviation safety and error recovery are actually more applicable to our everyday lives than we know it.

下决心再要逆风飞-

光阴不会往后退   应抛开伤心抑怨
愿我会拭干眼中泪
天空海阔我共你   再领略人生的美
云外看   新生趣

光阴不会往后退   应抛开伤心忆记
愿再试高飞的滋味
天空海阔我共你   再领略人生的美
云外看   新生趣

我心深处谁人晓-

心里最深处的欲望往往在不自觉中透露

偶尔倒希望自己有相同的机会
但或许对他人来说, 这些心里话反倒是白目不堪
尽是无心也罢
往后还是收敛点好
心里话与那最深处的希望, 无需他人知, 往肚里吞就可



对不起.

mental ramblings-

some phrase from TC got me thinking:
“Do you love me because you need me, or do you need me because you love me?”

if whoever posted that phrase thought it was unforgettable, what about:
“You're not in love with me. You're in love with your mental image/idea of me.”

you would never read this but I was never in love with a mental image of anybody. I loved for who the person was, and that was precisely why you never got any specific answer whenever you asked “why do you love me” (something that you were disappointed about). If I were in love with a mental image of you I would've held on much longer wouldn't I?

two days in a row-

yes, 我很怕, 我真的很怕. please do not play that song while we are walking anymore.

只好让回忆短暂的炫耀-

我关上了门   最后一次听你说我们
熟悉变陌生   把我往记忆里扔
我应该习惯   你离去的眼神
才能让失去你   变得更完整

窗外的街灯   还在努力掩饰著早晨
我的叹息成全了   整夜的苦闷
我该努力   习惯这样的气氛
才发现失去了   爱不用再等

我知道   我的一切你已不想要   继续在乎只会让你想逃
我不相信这全是种煎熬   原来离去是那么难预料
找依靠却没有我想要的好   我的等待换不到你拥抱
只好让回忆   短暂的炫耀
原来任性对彼此都   不好

清晨的街灯   翻开了城市中的心闷
我的等待成全了   整夜的苦闷
我努力在   你的回忆里狂奔
才了解失去了   爱不用再等

我知道   我的一切你已不想要   继续在乎只会让你想逃
我不相信这全是种煎熬   原来爱你是那么难预料
找依靠却没有我想要的好   我的等待换不到你拥抱
只好让回忆   短暂的炫耀
原来任性对彼此都   不好

多想再一次   紧紧的拥抱   就算给我   一秒也好
一秒可以给多少   我都想要

让回忆继续   反复炫耀   原来失去对彼此都   不好

http://chanqiyu.blogspot.com/2013/12/blog-post_29.html

为何一切到了终究还是空-

 

昨夜的雨   惊醒我沉睡中的梦
迷惑的心   缠满着昨日的伤痛
冷冷的风   不再有往日的温柔
逝去的爱   是否还能够再拥有

漫漫长路   谁能告诉我
究竟会有多少错
何处是我最终的居留

曾经在雨中对我说   今生今世相守
曾经在风中对我说   永远不离开我
多少缠绵编织成的梦
多少爱恨刻画的镜头
为何一切到了终究   还是空

 

 

 

yk and yl were right, we all need some form of closure to get on with our lives. but how on earth...

最后的最后-

short and lacking in content, but probably the last piece of my heart that you're going to see. and a bit early too because I don't want to end up brooding on this all day.

alles Gute zum Geburtstag. 祝你幸福, 快乐.
für immer Dein,
mich.

what is important to me-

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?"
SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"...
DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"
SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "If you must know, I make $100 an hour."
SON: "Oh! (With his head down).
SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow $50?"
 
The father was furious.
 
DAD: "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $ 50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

DAD: "Are you asleep, son?"
SON: "No daddy, I'm awake".
DAD: "I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $50 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling.

SON: "Oh, thank you daddy!"

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

DAD: "Why do you want more money if you already have some?"
SON: "Because I didn't have enough, but now I do. Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $100 worth of your time with someone you love? If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family and friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.

Some things are more important.

奔向各自的幸福和遗憾中老去-

 

最怕空气突然安静

最怕朋友突然的关心

最怕回忆突然翻滚绞痛着不平息

最怕突然听到你的消息

 

想念如果会有声音

不愿那是悲伤的哭泣

事到如今

终於让自已属於我自已

只剩眼泪还骗不过自己

 

突然好想你

你会在哪里

过的快乐或委屈

突然好想你

突然锋利的回忆

突然模糊的眼睛

 

我们像一首最美丽的歌曲

变成两部悲伤的电影

为什麽你

带我走过最难忘的旅行

然後留下最痛的纪念品

 

我们那麽甜   那麽美   那麽相信

那麽疯 那麽热烈的曾经

为何我们

还是要奔向各自的幸福和遗憾中老去

 

突然好想你

你会在哪里

过的快乐或委屈

 

突然好想你

突然锋利的回忆

突然模糊的眼睛

 

最怕空气突然安静

最怕朋友突然的关心

最怕回忆突然翻滚绞痛着不平息

最怕突然听到你的消息

 

最怕此生已经决定自己过没有你

却又突然听到你的消息

---

不断的告诉自己
希望还是能够知道你的近况
倘若真让我知道
又是否会快乐呢?

带着如此的怕过着每一天
能算是真正的开心吗? 
或只不过在对自己, 对身边的人强颜欢笑呢?


只不过, 只不过
偶尔...
突然好想你.